After a long relaxing weekend, it was back to work as usual. For some reason (well, the reason is because it was fuckin Monday), I didn’t want to be there. I was so fuckin unproductive—just staring out the window every now and then, as well as surfing the internet just to surf. Lunchtime finally came around and, because my boss was outta town, I didn’t even go back into the office. I didn’t have much shit on my plate anyway, so he wouldn’t even notice.

I took a few rips of the bong and watched TV peacefully—no interruptions from the 18 year old (who thought I was still at work) and no co-workers to ask me how my fuckin weekend was, as if they truly cared. There was nothing much on TV (and I realized how dumb daytime TV was – it was for bitches), so I decided to take a little nap. When I woke up I was hungry as hell, but I was too lazy to cook—but not lazy enough to roll up a joint. I took that joint to the dome and then mustered up the energy to get ready and go out to eat. I didn’t know where I was going, but I was going out to eat—that’s for damn sure.

My car took me to a local bar where, fuck, I guess I wanted to consume some alcohol as well. There was a local band playing and I noticed a chick doin her own thing—just vibin with the band. I made my way to her and asked her if I could join her—she said ‘yes, as long as you don’t try to get me drunk’

So after a few drinks (and even a dance) later, I felt a good vibe with the chickadee. I wanted to fuck her brains out—we were so compatible. At least I thought we were. I asked her what she was doin for the rest of the night and she said she just came out to take some time out from her girlfriend. Her girlfriend?!? I tried to salvage our ‘vibe’, but before I could ask her if she would consider men, she cut me off and said that she’s never going back to men—ever. It was PinkandPerfect.com pussy that floated this bitch’s boat, and I have to respect that. I mean, look at Hailey and Sky. If I was a woman, I’d be a lesbo too—guaran-fuckin-teed…